When you and a friend may be seeing the same counsellor, things to know before you begin

It's fairly common to find yourself seeing the same counsellor as a friend, especially in smaller communities or specialised practices. While this isn't automatically a problem, it's worth understanding the boundary issues involved so you can protect your own therapeutic experience.

Confidentiality works both ways

Your counsellor won't disclose anything you share, including the fact that you attend sessions, without your consent and the same protection applies to your friend. This means your counsellor generally cannot confirm, deny, or discuss anything about your friend's sessions, even in casual conversation. Don't expect any "insider" information, and don't be offended when none is offered.

Consider how central the friendship is to your own therapy

If it's a close friendship, one that's likely to come up often in your sessions (relationship dynamics, shared history, conflicts, or day-to-day life) then it's generally wisest to see a different therapist. When a friend features heavily in your material, your counsellor's ability to remain neutral and useful to both of you becomes strained, and you may find yourself editing what you say to protect the friendship or the therapist's perceived neutrality. In these cases, separate therapists usually serve everyone better.

Avoid comparing notes in ways that create pressure

It can be tempting to discuss what happens in your respective sessions, but this can subtly undermine the process  for both of you. You might feel pressure to perform or "keep up" with your friend's progress, or feel exposed if your friend later asks the counsellor about something you mentioned.

Your counsellor may take extra precautions

Some practitioners will decline to see two people who know each other closely, precisely because of these risks. Others will proceed but may set clearer ground rules, such as asking each of you not to discuss the other's sessions, or gently redirecting if either of you brings the other up frequently in session.

If it starts to feel awkward, say so

If you feel inhibited, or worry about things overlapping, raise this directly with your counsellor. They can help you think through whether continuing together is workable or whether one of you switching practitioners might serve you better.

Ultimately, it's your process

What you choose to share with your friend about your own sessions is up to you, just be mindful that oversharing (in either direction) can blur the lines of what's meant to be a private, individual space.

 

If anything here raises questions, please discuss them with your counsellor.